1
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,104
Oh, hey, Dave!
2
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:08,838
Come on in, buddy.
3
00:00:10,864 --> 00:00:12,318
Wow, you're in
a really good mood.
4
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:15,667
I know. A new pothole
opened up on Jefferson,
5
00:00:15,755 --> 00:00:17,964
and it is tearing up
people's cars.
6
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:20,260
They're breaking down
right in front of my shop.
7
00:00:21,347 --> 00:00:22,999
Ain't God good?
8
00:00:24,371 --> 00:00:26,175
Okay, well, since
you're so happy,
9
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,135
you won't mind if I
borrow a couple tools.
10
00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:29,458
Sure, what do you need?
11
00:00:29,573 --> 00:00:31,269
Okay, let's see.
12
00:00:31,678 --> 00:00:32,988
Here we go.
13
00:00:33,073 --> 00:00:35,762
Uh, all right.
Miter saw, belt sander,
14
00:00:35,916 --> 00:00:37,607
power drill,
carriage bolts,
15
00:00:37,692 --> 00:00:39,623
auger bits,
and the instruction manuals
16
00:00:39,708 --> 00:00:41,675
on how to use all those things.
17
00:00:43,223 --> 00:00:46,364
Dave, I've told you a hundred times,
we are not building
18
00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:48,550
a bridge connecting our houses.
19
00:00:50,614 --> 00:00:53,531
It was not a bridge,
it was a catwalk.
20
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,660
But this is about
something else. Okay.
21
00:00:57,873 --> 00:01:00,322
Grover has been begging me
for a tree house,
22
00:01:00,406 --> 00:01:02,676
and since he's visiting
his grandmother for a few days,
23
00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:05,191
I thought I'd surprise him
with one when he gets home.
24
00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:06,760
A tree house, huh?
25
00:01:07,292 --> 00:01:09,762
I remember the one
I built for Malcolm and Marty.
26
00:01:09,851 --> 00:01:11,277
That thing was amazing.
27
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:14,248
Well, I've got some pretty
exciting plans myself.
28
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:17,554
Two words: Bird feeder.
29
00:01:19,452 --> 00:01:22,964
I got two words for you:
Poor Grover.
30
00:01:23,715 --> 00:01:25,105
Aw, man.
31
00:01:25,190 --> 00:01:27,587
You should've seen
the one I built.
32
00:01:27,842 --> 00:01:29,541
It had a lookout perch,
33
00:01:29,626 --> 00:01:31,022
a rope swing.
34
00:01:31,177 --> 00:01:34,285
It even had a secret door
that led to a slide.
35
00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:37,491
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but screw feeding the birds.
36
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:40,363
Yeah, man, the boys spent
the entire summer up there.
37
00:01:40,446 --> 00:01:41,879
By the time they came down,
38
00:01:41,964 --> 00:01:45,670
Marty needed longer pants
and Malcolm had a goatee.
39
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:48,718
Well, Calvin,
that sounds awesome. Hey...
40
00:01:48,803 --> 00:01:50,474
Is there any chance
that you would help me
41
00:01:50,559 --> 00:01:51,872
build Grover's tree house?
42
00:01:51,956 --> 00:01:53,160
Hmm.
43
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:57,598
This may be the pothole
talking, but I'd love to.
44
00:01:57,849 --> 00:01:59,988
You know what, I got
some extra wood in my garage,
45
00:02:00,074 --> 00:02:01,209
and anything else we need,
46
00:02:01,293 --> 00:02:02,777
we can get
at the hardware store.
47
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,411
Okay, perfect. Also, we can
swing by the pet store.
48
00:02:05,497 --> 00:02:08,316
I have 200 pounds
of birdseed to return.
49
00:02:10,084 --> 00:02:12,535
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
50
00:02:12,619 --> 00:02:14,285
♪ Welcome to the hood ♪
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
51
00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:16,106
00:02:17,879
Episode Title: "Welcome to the Treehouse"
Aired on: March 15, 2021
53
00:02:15,463 --> 00:02:17,554
Wow, you really know your
way around Home Warehouse.
54
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,035
You found everything
so quickly.
55
00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:20,558
Everything except you.
56
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,403
Where the hell did you
disappear to for so long?
57
00:02:23,513 --> 00:02:25,221
Sorry. Any time I see
a plant section,
58
00:02:25,307 --> 00:02:28,223
I like to pretend
that I'm lost in the jungle.
59
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,720
Hey, guys. Oh, nice.
60
00:02:31,912 --> 00:02:33,223
Dave, I see
you finally talked my dad
61
00:02:33,307 --> 00:02:35,293
into building that catwalk.
62
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,278
Wrong.
63
00:02:37,363 --> 00:02:40,239
I'm helping Dave
build a tree house for Grover,
64
00:02:40,325 --> 00:02:42,123
just like the one I built
for you and Malcolm.
65
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:43,885
Oh, really? That's fantastic.
66
00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:46,434
Yeah, you know, just thinking
about it brings back
67
00:02:46,519 --> 00:02:49,761
a lot of happy memories
of you boys playing in yours.
68
00:02:49,845 --> 00:02:51,144
Yeah, me too, Dad.
69
00:02:52,122 --> 00:02:55,462
Man, see, that is exactly
the kind of memories
70
00:02:55,546 --> 00:02:56,986
that I want to have with Grover.
71
00:02:57,070 --> 00:02:59,045
Aw, man, well, you won't
if you let my dad build it,
72
00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,812
because Grover will be dead.
73
00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:04,571
W-What are you talking about?
74
00:03:04,714 --> 00:03:06,036
Trust me, man,
the one that my dad
75
00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:07,489
built for us was a nightmare.
76
00:03:07,575 --> 00:03:08,927
It had a hole in the floor,
77
00:03:09,028 --> 00:03:10,864
splinters everywhere,
nails poking out.
78
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,980
It was like playing inside
a knife drawer.
79
00:03:14,997 --> 00:03:16,266
I mean, what am I
supposed to do?
80
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:19,208
I mean, your dad is so excited,
I can't ask him to stop now.
81
00:03:19,301 --> 00:03:21,849
Well, in that case,
the only thing you should do
82
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:24,606
is use this saw
to cut down your tree.
83
00:03:24,690 --> 00:03:28,208
No, wait. You know what?
No. Marty, you're an engineer.
84
00:03:28,293 --> 00:03:31,149
Look, you can help us build it
and make sure that it's safe.
85
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:34,318
Dude, are you kidding me?
If my dad finds out you asked me
86
00:03:34,403 --> 00:03:35,980
to supervise his work,
he'll be furious.
87
00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:37,668
Well, then,
he doesn't need to know.
88
00:03:37,754 --> 00:03:40,159
Just swing by and make
a few casual suggestions.
89
00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,402
Then you're not stepping
on his toes.
90
00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:45,879
And more importantly,
Grover won't lose any of his.
91
00:03:46,511 --> 00:03:47,638
I don't know, man.
92
00:03:47,785 --> 00:03:49,037
Good news, Dave!
93
00:03:49,122 --> 00:03:51,504
I figured out a way
we can run a zip line
94
00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:53,761
from the roof to the tree house.
95
00:03:53,846 --> 00:03:56,723
We just got to get around
those power lines.
96
00:04:01,247 --> 00:04:02,628
So, 1:00 okay for you?
97
00:04:02,737 --> 00:04:04,152
Yes...
98
00:04:09,562 --> 00:04:11,828
Hey, Tina. Here's the
flour you asked for.
99
00:04:12,013 --> 00:04:13,645
I brought all I had
because I didn't know
100
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:16,261
how many cups
were in a "crapload."
101
00:04:16,987 --> 00:04:18,862
Great. Did you also
bring the butter?
102
00:04:19,002 --> 00:04:20,456
No, sorry, I was out.
103
00:04:20,675 --> 00:04:23,723
Alexa, add a crapload of butter
to my shopping list.
104
00:04:23,807 --> 00:04:25,682
I've added a crapload of butter
105
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,768
to your shopping list.
106
00:04:28,857 --> 00:04:30,775
Did you program her to say that?
107
00:04:30,858 --> 00:04:33,252
No. She just gets me.
108
00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:37,259
So, what's with all the cookies?
109
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:40,050
Well,
like an idiot, I volunteered
110
00:04:40,136 --> 00:04:42,699
to make 400 of them
for the church bake sale.
111
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,963
- 400? That's crazy.
- Mm.
112
00:04:45,047 --> 00:04:48,011
I know, but Sister Thompson
made 300 last year,
113
00:04:48,097 --> 00:04:50,456
and I thought embarrassing
that stuck-up old hag
114
00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:51,917
would be
the Christian thing to do.
115
00:04:54,182 --> 00:04:55,401
Well, if you need some help,
116
00:04:55,487 --> 00:04:57,097
I'd be happy
to make some for you.
117
00:04:57,182 --> 00:04:59,013
Oh, really?
Sure.
118
00:04:59,201 --> 00:05:00,597
I love to bake.
119
00:05:00,845 --> 00:05:02,240
You know, when Grover
was little, I used to...
120
00:05:02,324 --> 00:05:04,004
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Less chatter, more batter.
121
00:05:04,088 --> 00:05:05,417
Okay.
122
00:05:10,814 --> 00:05:13,511
What do you say, Dave?
You looking level on your side?
123
00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:15,737
Not really.
124
00:05:16,377 --> 00:05:19,083
Ah, don't beat yourself up.
Mine isn't, either.
125
00:05:20,579 --> 00:05:21,824
Hey, guys.
126
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:23,740
Oh, look who's here.
127
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,432
It's Marty, showing up
completely on his own.
128
00:05:26,751 --> 00:05:29,571
Right on time,
but totally unplanned.
129
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:32,348
Yeah, I just figured I'd drop by
and see how you guys were doing.
130
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:35,347
Oh, great. We're halfway done
with the floor.
131
00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:37,627
Yeah, uh, that's right, uh...
132
00:05:37,925 --> 00:05:40,643
I got to levelwith you,
Marty, I can
133
00:05:40,728 --> 00:05:45,151
not evenbelieve
how well it's going.
134
00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:47,706
Well, actually,
from where I'm standing,
135
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:49,419
i-it looks a little slanted.
136
00:05:49,502 --> 00:05:52,175
Oh.
Eh, maybe.
137
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,355
But trust me,
it'll look straight
138
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,230
when it's 12 feet in the air.
139
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,401
So-so, when you
get it up there,
140
00:05:58,487 --> 00:05:59,776
what are you gonna use
to support it? Is...
141
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,953
You gonna use braces
or a cantilever system?
142
00:06:02,037 --> 00:06:04,480
Oh, a cantilever system.
You know what's crazy?
143
00:06:04,566 --> 00:06:07,557
Grover was just
asking for one of those.
144
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:09,511
No, man, don't worry
about that stuff.
145
00:06:09,597 --> 00:06:11,614
I got something
way sturdier in mind.
146
00:06:11,699 --> 00:06:13,355
Oh. W-What?
147
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,276
I'm gonna nail it to that branch
148
00:06:15,362 --> 00:06:17,324
and then I'm-a tie a
bungee cord and run it
149
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:20,273
all the way over to
that telephone pole.
150
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,699
Yeah, I got to say, Dad,
from an engineering standpoint,
151
00:06:24,783 --> 00:06:26,456
that doesn't sound
super safe to me.
152
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,105
You're probably right.
153
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:30,151
Two bungee cords it is.
154
00:06:30,783 --> 00:06:32,667
Yeah, uh, I don't know, Calvin.
155
00:06:32,752 --> 00:06:35,206
I-I think Marty is making
some pretty good points.
156
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:36,773
Yeah, speaking of points,
157
00:06:36,857 --> 00:06:39,831
maybe we should hammer down
some of these exposed nails.
158
00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:41,818
What are you
talking about?
159
00:06:41,903 --> 00:06:43,646
That's a built-in
security system
160
00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:45,862
to keep the squirrels out.
161
00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:48,086
I don't know, Calvin, uh,
162
00:06:48,323 --> 00:06:50,871
I think I'm leaning
towards Marty's suggestion.
163
00:06:51,105 --> 00:06:53,408
It feels a little bit
less tetanusy.
164
00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:56,526
All right, fine,
we'll hammer in the nails.
165
00:06:56,776 --> 00:06:58,400
Good. Y-You know,
166
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,393
the squirrels probably
won't even be a problem.
167
00:07:00,502 --> 00:07:02,816
I know. 'Cause I'm-a
put barbed wire
168
00:07:02,925 --> 00:07:05,234
all around this
thing instead.
169
00:07:05,682 --> 00:07:07,362
Good idea, fellas.
170
00:07:10,636 --> 00:07:14,720
Alexa, set cookie timer
for 12 minutes.
171
00:07:14,804 --> 00:07:17,283
Cookie timer set for 12 minutes.
172
00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:19,800
Girl, you are such a big help.
173
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:23,838
Now, if you could talk trash
and drink wine, we could hang.
174
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,206
Okay, here you go.
175
00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:28,658
100 vegan carob chip cookies.
176
00:07:28,759 --> 00:07:31,145
- What?
- I'm kidding.
177
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:32,574
These are so unhealthy,
178
00:07:32,658 --> 00:07:35,369
there's a little heart
attack in each one.
179
00:07:36,432 --> 00:07:40,158
Hey, Mom, did you hear
the bad news about Mr. Pickett?
180
00:07:40,292 --> 00:07:42,227
Oh, he fell down
the stairs and... Oh!
181
00:07:42,311 --> 00:07:43,627
Cookies.
182
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:46,963
Mmm.
183
00:07:47,184 --> 00:07:48,855
Oh, my God.
184
00:07:48,941 --> 00:07:52,347
Mom, these are the best cookies
you ever made.
185
00:07:52,617 --> 00:07:53,970
Excuse me?
186
00:07:54,877 --> 00:07:56,184
I'm serious, Ma.
187
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,949
I don't know
what you did different,
188
00:07:58,033 --> 00:07:59,896
but these right here
put all your other cookies
189
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,028
to shame.
190
00:08:01,112 --> 00:08:02,698
Mmm.
191
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,571
Actually, I baked that batch.
192
00:08:05,656 --> 00:08:07,876
You say what now?
193
00:08:11,237 --> 00:08:14,473
Those are hers.
194
00:08:17,338 --> 00:08:19,177
You know what?
195
00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:20,961
I spoke way too soon.
196
00:08:21,347 --> 00:08:22,746
Let me go ahead
and try one of yours.
197
00:08:22,829 --> 00:08:26,666
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
198
00:08:27,104 --> 00:08:29,099
You see? I was wrong.
199
00:08:29,184 --> 00:08:31,406
I was wrong.
These are way better.
200
00:08:33,915 --> 00:08:35,791
Still Gemma's.
201
00:08:39,064 --> 00:08:40,270
You know what?
202
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,140
Let me try one of these
right... Just get out of here!
203
00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:48,945
Look at that floor.
204
00:08:49,030 --> 00:08:50,377
Solid as a rock.
205
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,511
I told you that dead branch
was strong enough to hold it.
206
00:08:54,295 --> 00:08:55,647
Yeah, uh,
207
00:08:55,732 --> 00:08:57,276
lucky for us you spotted it
208
00:08:57,362 --> 00:09:00,354
so very, very high
up in the tree.
209
00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:03,438
Oh, know what we should do,
210
00:09:03,522 --> 00:09:05,979
is get a steel pipe
and put it on the roof
211
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,184
so Grover can fly a pirate flag.
212
00:09:08,269 --> 00:09:10,348
Oh, that's a great idea.
213
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:11,973
No kid's wooden fort
is complete
214
00:09:12,058 --> 00:09:14,644
without a lightning rod
attached to it.
215
00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:17,854
Now, you see a problem,
I see free electricity.
216
00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:19,011
Yeah...
217
00:09:19,096 --> 00:09:21,894
You know, though, maybe
we skip the flagpole.
218
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,459
Yeah, Grover's not into
pirates anymore anyway.
219
00:09:24,544 --> 00:09:25,852
Oh, that's too bad.
220
00:09:25,936 --> 00:09:27,838
I see at least
three planks up there
221
00:09:27,924 --> 00:09:29,979
just begging
to be walked off.
222
00:09:31,579 --> 00:09:32,931
What's your deal, Marty?
223
00:09:33,132 --> 00:09:35,181
Why you keep criticizing
everything I do?
224
00:09:35,337 --> 00:09:37,949
Well, i-it's not about you, Dad.
I'm just looking out for Grover.
225
00:09:38,034 --> 00:09:40,019
You know what?
I-I like the sound of that.
226
00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:42,332
You know, Grover
has very delicate bones.
227
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,808
He's... he's basically
like a little baby bird.
228
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:49,329
Eh, the only baby
around here is Marty.
229
00:09:49,444 --> 00:09:52,224
"Wah, the floor is uneven."
230
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,511
"Wah, lightning's bad for you."
231
00:09:56,401 --> 00:09:58,104
I'm just trying to make it safe.
232
00:09:58,272 --> 00:10:01,366
No, what you're doing
is trying to make it boring.
233
00:10:01,463 --> 00:10:04,074
Half the fun of a tree house
is taking some risk.
234
00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:05,752
A little sense of adventure.
235
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,969
When did you become so soft?
236
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,707
I'm not soft, Dad.
237
00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:12,246
I'm just trying to stop
this tree house from being
238
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:14,423
an even bigger disaster
than the one you built us.
239
00:10:14,651 --> 00:10:17,136
What are you talking about?
You loved that tree house.
240
00:10:17,222 --> 00:10:20,144
No, man, I hated it. That thing
was way too dangerous.
241
00:10:20,455 --> 00:10:22,953
Name one thing that was
dangerous about it.
242
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:26,651
Dad, you built it
over a barbecue pit.
243
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,222
It's called heated floors.
244
00:10:32,144 --> 00:10:33,979
G-Guys, please stop arguing.
245
00:10:34,064 --> 00:10:36,261
Look, I'm not arguing,
I'm just realizing
246
00:10:36,347 --> 00:10:38,573
how ungrateful my son is.
247
00:10:38,729 --> 00:10:40,223
Yeah, and I'm just realizing
how reckless
248
00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,840
and irresponsible my dad is.
249
00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:44,184
You know what, Marty, what-what
are you even doing here?
250
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,801
Nobody invited you.
Right, Dave?
251
00:10:45,963 --> 00:10:50,064
Yeah, totally uninvited, but at
the same time, very welcome.
252
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,752
Yeah, fine, you guys don't want
my help, I'm out of here.
253
00:10:56,175 --> 00:10:57,815
I was just trying to keep
Grover safe.
254
00:10:58,050 --> 00:10:59,705
Well, you don't have
to worry about that,
255
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:01,511
because when it comes
to tree houses,
256
00:11:01,597 --> 00:11:03,472
nobody builds 'em
better than me.
257
00:11:04,237 --> 00:11:05,963
Oh!
258
00:11:06,776 --> 00:11:09,791
Boom. There's your
rope swing right there.
259
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,862
Hey, Dave, what's up?
260
00:11:23,945 --> 00:11:26,229
And if you say the tree house,
I will be shocked.
261
00:11:27,532 --> 00:11:29,910
I came over to apologize
for yesterday.
262
00:11:29,996 --> 00:11:31,521
The last thing I wanted
was to cause
263
00:11:31,606 --> 00:11:33,479
a fight
between you and your dad.
264
00:11:33,564 --> 00:11:35,207
I mean, you didn't
start that fight.
265
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,949
He did when he called me soft.
266
00:11:37,034 --> 00:11:40,159
- It's messed up. Y
- eah, I totally get it.
267
00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:43,053
I'd hate it if Calvin
ever thought I were soft.
268
00:11:47,329 --> 00:11:49,104
But come on, Marty,
I need you to come back.
269
00:11:49,189 --> 00:11:50,563
For Grover's sake.
270
00:11:50,647 --> 00:11:51,870
How bad is it?
271
00:11:51,954 --> 00:11:54,613
It is a nightmare.
He's over there right now
272
00:11:54,699 --> 00:11:56,195
trying to get a diving board
273
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,238
to reach the neighbors'
swimming pool.
274
00:11:59,665 --> 00:12:01,987
Dave, I tried to help, man.
You saw what happened.
275
00:12:02,070 --> 00:12:05,001
I know, and I should have
backed you up, but...
276
00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:06,992
but it's hard.
277
00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:09,127
Your dad's heart is
in the right place,
278
00:12:09,213 --> 00:12:12,510
even though I'm pretty sure
his support beams are not.
279
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,103
Well,
280
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:16,808
if you want me to come back,
281
00:12:16,892 --> 00:12:18,785
you're gonna have to make my dad
do things my way.
282
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,808
Absolutely. Look, Marty,
283
00:12:20,892 --> 00:12:23,308
from now on, you are in charge,
no matter what.
284
00:12:23,392 --> 00:12:25,588
Okay, good. But we better get
over there quick
285
00:12:25,674 --> 00:12:27,238
because the neighbors drained
that pool two years ago.
286
00:12:27,323 --> 00:12:28,775
Oh...
287
00:12:33,449 --> 00:12:35,847
Hey. Okay for me to come in?
288
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,886
Of course, Gemma,
why wouldn't it be?
289
00:12:37,971 --> 00:12:40,291
I don't know,
I was worried you might still be
290
00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:43,001
upset about that whole cookie
thing yesterday.
291
00:12:43,142 --> 00:12:45,824
Ah, please, they're just
silly cookies
292
00:12:45,909 --> 00:12:48,299
that I've baked for Malcolm
his whole life,
293
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:52,298
ever since I squeezed his sorry
ass out of my damn body.
294
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,294
I know, I'm sorry.
295
00:12:54,378 --> 00:12:56,324
No, no, it's not your fault.
296
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,607
Malcolm was right,
your cookies were delicious.
297
00:12:58,692 --> 00:12:59,870
Thanks.
298
00:12:59,954 --> 00:13:02,252
You're welcome.
And besides,
299
00:13:02,338 --> 00:13:04,659
obviously it was just a fluke.
300
00:13:06,779 --> 00:13:08,348
What do you mean,
a fluke?
301
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,800
Oh, I'm sorry, Gemma,
I didn't mean it like that.
302
00:13:10,885 --> 00:13:12,300
I'm just saying,
everyone knows that
303
00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:15,174
my cookies eat yours
for breakfast.
304
00:13:16,978 --> 00:13:18,862
Well, everyone might know,
305
00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:21,150
but clearly Malcolm doesn't.
306
00:13:24,118 --> 00:13:26,056
Okay, okay.
307
00:13:27,657 --> 00:13:30,509
Well, it sounds like there's
only one way to settle this.
308
00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:32,135
You talking bake-off?
309
00:13:32,237 --> 00:13:34,732
Oh, you know it.
Name your cookie.
310
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:38,126
Shortbread?
Snickerdoodle?
311
00:13:38,993 --> 00:13:42,409
If we're gonna do it,
let's go all the way.
312
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,034
You talking oatmeal?
313
00:13:45,931 --> 00:13:48,142
With raisins.
314
00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:52,924
Is there any other way?
315
00:13:54,189 --> 00:13:55,900
Actually, sometimes they
use chocolate chips.
316
00:13:55,984 --> 00:13:58,291
Oh, that sounds yummy.
Let's do that instead. Okay.
317
00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:04,718
Hey, Dad.
318
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:08,493
Oh, look who's back,
the building inspector.
319
00:14:09,596 --> 00:14:12,112
Actually, Calvin,
I asked Marty to come back.
320
00:14:12,332 --> 00:14:13,640
Why would you do that?
321
00:14:13,892 --> 00:14:16,416
Look, I know you're just
trying to make this place
322
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:19,123
as much fun as possible
for Grover, but...
323
00:14:19,424 --> 00:14:23,400
it would be nice if he were
actually alive to enjoy it.
324
00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:26,449
Seriously?
You're taking his side?
325
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:28,330
Look, Calvin,
there are no sides.
326
00:14:28,415 --> 00:14:30,001
Yeah, like this place
when somebody sneezes
327
00:14:30,084 --> 00:14:31,596
and the walls fall down.
328
00:14:32,352 --> 00:14:33,660
Know what? Fine.
329
00:14:33,743 --> 00:14:35,425
If neither of you think
that I can do this,
330
00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:36,526
then I'm out of here.
331
00:14:36,612 --> 00:14:38,378
But I'm taking my nail with me.
332
00:14:43,690 --> 00:14:44,955
What was that?
333
00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,152
Oh, relax.
It's just the floor
334
00:14:47,237 --> 00:14:48,738
settling onto the tree.
335
00:14:48,824 --> 00:14:50,285
Now it's even more rock-solid.
336
00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:58,097
M-Maybe I should put this nail
back where it, where it was.
337
00:15:03,218 --> 00:15:04,338
Okay.
338
00:15:04,424 --> 00:15:05,469
I got to admit,
339
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:07,338
now the floor is
a little slanted.
340
00:15:12,776 --> 00:15:15,221
Whoa.
341
00:15:16,645 --> 00:15:18,270
- Hey, ladies...
- Enough small talk.
342
00:15:18,353 --> 00:15:20,358
- We need you to settle a bet.
- Mm-hmm.
343
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,665
Uh, what bet?
344
00:15:22,934 --> 00:15:24,887
We both baked
one of these cookies.
345
00:15:24,973 --> 00:15:26,317
All you have to do
is taste them
346
00:15:26,401 --> 00:15:28,166
and tell us which one
you like better.
347
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,756
And God help you
if you get it wrong.
348
00:15:31,075 --> 00:15:33,024
You know, actually,
I am kind of busy right now.
349
00:15:33,107 --> 00:15:35,199
But you know who loves cookies?
350
00:15:35,284 --> 00:15:36,679
Marty. I'm gonna go find him.
351
00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:38,856
Nice try, Malcolm.
Yeah.
352
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,420
Now be a man and eat
your milk and cookies!
353
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,732
All right, fine.
354
00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:52,978
Mmm.
355
00:15:58,612 --> 00:16:00,303
So, which is better?
356
00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:01,631
Well...
357
00:16:01,724 --> 00:16:04,185
I hate to disappoint
either of you, but...
358
00:16:04,419 --> 00:16:06,708
it's a tie...
everybody wins!
359
00:16:06,794 --> 00:16:08,580
Malcolm!
360
00:16:08,665 --> 00:16:10,409
All right, Ma.
361
00:16:10,492 --> 00:16:12,280
If I had to choose,
362
00:16:13,303 --> 00:16:14,931
I pick this one.
363
00:16:15,763 --> 00:16:17,459
Boom! Hey!
364
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:21,685
Somebody call Keebler and tell
'em there's a new elf in town!
365
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,788
Well, congratulations.
366
00:16:28,872 --> 00:16:32,099
I guess you were right,
my cookies were just a fluke.
367
00:16:32,342 --> 00:16:34,397
I'm sorry, Gemma,
I never should've said that.
368
00:16:34,482 --> 00:16:37,022
I just overreacted
because I'm Malcolm's mom.
369
00:16:37,107 --> 00:16:38,929
And, you know,
every mama wants
370
00:16:39,013 --> 00:16:41,048
her baby to like
her cookies best.
371
00:16:41,723 --> 00:16:44,983
I get it, and I'm glad
he picked yours.
372
00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:46,248
Thank you.
373
00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:47,664
And thank you, Malcolm.
374
00:16:47,849 --> 00:16:50,732
Now I'm gonna go put
your baby pictures back up.
375
00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:56,444
Look, I'm sorry, Gemma.
Your cookie was good, too.
376
00:16:56,529 --> 00:16:59,732
It just had a bit of, um,
a strange aftertaste.
377
00:17:00,037 --> 00:17:03,271
I hope so. I put in
a crapload of pickle juice.
378
00:17:03,636 --> 00:17:06,155
Pickle juice?
Why would you put pickle juice
379
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,423
in an oatmeal cookie?
380
00:17:07,677 --> 00:17:09,123
Because I'm a mama, too.
381
00:17:09,591 --> 00:17:11,882
Like your mom said,
we all want our babies
382
00:17:11,966 --> 00:17:13,646
to like our cookies best.
383
00:17:15,012 --> 00:17:16,474
You're a good friend, Gemma.
384
00:17:16,848 --> 00:17:19,927
Not that good. At first, I was
going to put it in her cookie.
385
00:17:24,887 --> 00:17:27,443
Okay, nobody move or this thing
is gonna collapse.
386
00:17:27,527 --> 00:17:29,467
All right, now I know
how this looks, but I built
387
00:17:29,552 --> 00:17:31,007
this thing for a couple
of little kids.
388
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,744
Not three grown men.
389
00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:35,061
That being said,
I probably could've used
390
00:17:35,146 --> 00:17:36,582
a few more bungee cords.
391
00:17:37,412 --> 00:17:39,628
Okay, so what
do we do now?
392
00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:42,137
And if you're gonna say
pee your pants, well...
393
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:44,044
mission accomplished.
394
00:17:44,341 --> 00:17:46,185
Well, Marty,
you're an engineer.
395
00:17:46,271 --> 00:17:48,436
If anybody can figure a way
to get us out of here, it's you.
396
00:17:48,521 --> 00:17:52,005
Okay, okay, okay, uh...
all right, I-I think I got it.
397
00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:54,396
Um, if-if we coordinate
our movements
398
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:56,927
and redistribute
our body weight, that should
399
00:17:57,012 --> 00:17:59,138
counterbalance the floor
until we can each get out.
400
00:17:59,223 --> 00:18:01,710
Great idea.
And may I say,
401
00:18:01,794 --> 00:18:03,569
as a professional
conflict mediator,
402
00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:06,176
an excellent team-building
exercise.
403
00:18:06,261 --> 00:18:09,310
You know...
Okay, all right.
404
00:18:09,395 --> 00:18:10,694
You might want to hurry
this thing up.
405
00:18:10,779 --> 00:18:12,459
This tree is getting sick
of Dave, too.
406
00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:14,139
Okay... okay, Dave?
407
00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:17,077
You're closest to the door.
I'm gonna slide two steps
408
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:19,474
to the left, Dad, you take
two steps to the right.
409
00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:21,248
That should balance the floor.
410
00:18:21,332 --> 00:18:22,551
Ready?
411
00:18:22,707 --> 00:18:24,934
Go!
412
00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:27,067
All right.
413
00:18:27,165 --> 00:18:29,966
Okay, all right,
Dave, you climb out.
414
00:18:30,051 --> 00:18:32,427
Dad, as soon as he does,
you take another step
415
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,809
to the left.
I'm gonna take two steps back.
416
00:18:34,895 --> 00:18:38,451
Oh, so this is like the Electric
Slide meets the Cupid Shuffle.
417
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:40,037
No, Dad, Dad, no!
418
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,646
Oh, my God.
419
00:18:41,731 --> 00:18:43,630
Oh, oh, ooh!
420
00:18:43,715 --> 00:18:46,215
That-That-That's on me
right there.
421
00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:48,653
Okay, Dave, go!
422
00:18:49,309 --> 00:18:50,576
Okay.
423
00:18:51,168 --> 00:18:52,873
And for the record,
there are
424
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,561
no two men that I'd rather be
trapped in a tree house
425
00:18:54,646 --> 00:18:56,616
- with than the two of you!
- Get out of here!
426
00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:02,995
Okay, Dad.
427
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,302
It's your turn.
428
00:19:04,484 --> 00:19:05,663
No, son, you go.
429
00:19:05,748 --> 00:19:07,020
All right, this is my fault.
430
00:19:07,291 --> 00:19:08,880
If I had listened
to your suggestions,
431
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:10,720
we wouldn't be here
in the first place.
432
00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:12,450
I just got carried away.
433
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,723
It's okay, man. You were
just trying to make it fun.
434
00:19:15,886 --> 00:19:17,848
The same way you did
when you built ours.
435
00:19:17,972 --> 00:19:19,194
Thanks.
436
00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:21,302
And I shouldn't have
called you soft,
437
00:19:21,387 --> 00:19:22,709
because you're not.
438
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:24,771
You mean that?
439
00:19:24,857 --> 00:19:26,460
Yeah. I mean,
440
00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:28,030
the way you kept your cool
and figured out
441
00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:29,868
a way to get us out of here,
442
00:19:29,953 --> 00:19:31,563
there's nothing soft
about that.
443
00:19:33,011 --> 00:19:34,615
Thanks, Dad.
444
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:36,089
Bring it in, son.
445
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,703
All right, whoa,
whoa, whoa, okay.
446
00:19:38,788 --> 00:19:41,008
Bring it out, bring it out!
447
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:49,526
Okay, okay, Dad, I'm going.
448
00:19:49,658 --> 00:19:50,975
I'll see you
on the ground.
449
00:19:51,604 --> 00:19:53,690
One way or the other.
450
00:20:01,979 --> 00:20:03,026
Damn.
451
00:20:03,454 --> 00:20:05,815
Why did I let Dave go first?
452
00:20:11,894 --> 00:20:14,902
You were right, this is a much
better idea than the one I had.
453
00:20:14,986 --> 00:20:16,948
True. Although I would've
loved to see my dad try
454
00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:19,885
to Mary Poppins his way down
with your beach umbrella.
455
00:20:20,518 --> 00:20:21,698
Calvin, you okay up there?
456
00:20:21,885 --> 00:20:24,229
Yeah, but I'm running out
of time!
457
00:20:24,385 --> 00:20:25,697
When's that umbrella coming?
458
00:20:25,782 --> 00:20:27,665
Okay... change of plans.
459
00:20:27,751 --> 00:20:29,877
We've got some mattresses
for you to land on!
460
00:20:33,416 --> 00:20:34,944
Dad, you got to jump now!
461
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,901
A squirrel just did
and I think he knows something.
462
00:20:39,955 --> 00:20:42,527
All right, here I come!
463
00:20:43,072 --> 00:20:46,643
Just remember,
you're the Black Bruce Willis.
464
00:20:47,884 --> 00:20:50,729
Yippee ki-yay, mother brother!
465
00:20:54,159 --> 00:20:56,971
Captioning sponsored by
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466
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,361
and TOYOTA.
467
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,317
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
468
00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:03,526
Sync corrections by srjanapala